Waiting to hear from my surgeons secretary with a date for my heart surgery.... Got to have a triple bypass... Off all the things my father gave me he had to give me shitty arteries... I don't blame him for all of it though, quite a bit of it is my fault, what with a crap diet, smoking from 12 to 27 and then from 30 to 33 and the other stuff I've smoked, on and off, for 20 years... All given up now and the diet has changed since the heart attacks...
If I'm honest I'm not looking forward to having the op, it's not so much the op itself, it's the recovery time afterwards... When you're used to being up and about and doing what you want to do it becomes somewhat of a ballache... But it's certainly better than the alternative...
Speaking of which, I don't think it would bother me if I died on the operating table, let's face it, I really wouldn't have a choice in the matter anyway... It's not as if I can say "whoa! hold on! not ready yet!"... Always been a firm believer in the maxim that when it's your time then it's your time... Obviously I don't want that to happen as I can't imagine a world without me, and that's not being vain...
I have a lot of things I have left to do, but the family history is against me, well on my paternal side it is... And that seems to be the side that I have followed... All being well once the bypass is done and I'm fully recovered I'll be able to get on with my life and do what I want to do...
Lots and lots of stuff to photograph... Get back on my bike and continue the cycling with my oldest friend Andy, get myself fitter and see what happens in my personal life... Hopefully live long enough to see any grandchildren I may have... So yeah, the title is "apprehensive" and that is what I currently am... The waiting has been the worst, still is... Mebbe I'm too impatient...
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