New blog...

I've added a blog to showcase my photo's, the link is to the right. I didnt want to clutter this blog with them so created another...

On grandmothers...

My grandmother died on 19 Feb last year (2007)... She wasn't the kind of grandmother who had much to do with us. My father was her eldest son. She only started taking an interest in us after my father died, when it was 'revealed' that she was our grandmother (I knew from the age of eight though, an Uncle had told me one day, why I dont know)...

Then, a few years later, I got married and obviously invited her to the wedding. We had the wedding in the afternoon and a celebration at night... However, in between we had a small party for close family and friends. Only those invited knew about it, she wasn't invited (only because she'd not really been close family).

She found out about it when the Vicar published the details in the local rag... That was when she phoned my mother and played merry hell with her about it and asked why she'd not been invited. I cant remember what my mother said at the time (although it wasnt really anything to do with her as my wife and I had decided who was going), anyway this resulted in a falling out...

A few months later I saw her in the village and she just walked past me, blanking me totally... And I never saw her again, or had anything to do with her after that...

I figured it was her loss, I have three children that she could have seen and had a part in their lives, plus the children of my siblings. She fell out with us, as far as I am concerned it was up to her to come with the Olive branch, not me... But she didnt...

Then, while at an Aunt's funeral I was talking to my grandmothers sister as we were going into the service and found myself sat at the side of my grandmother... I was still talking to my great aunt before the service began when my grandmother asked who I was (because I kept referring to family members)... I told her... then the service began...

My youngest daughter had come with me to my Aunts funeral, she wanted to be there for my cousin (she's a friend of his) and as we were coming out of the service my grandmother asked if my daughter knew that she (grandmother) was her great-grandmother... I told her yes...

That was the last time I saw her...

For the last six years, I've been tracing my family history... and all the time I've been doing that I've wanted to go and see her but thought she wouldn't want to see me after, well, 24 years of not talking to her... That and the fact that she had a sister she never spoke to, and I went to see her to get the information I wanted...But still, there were questions that only she could have answered... and now I can't ask her...

And I've since found out that she's left some of her estate to myself and my two siblings... and when my Uncles and Aunt went to clear the house they found unopened presents that she'd obviously bought for us that she never had the chance to deliver...

She also used to talk about us a lot... So, why the flying foojar didn't she make that extra effort to reach out... All this time I thought she never wanted anything to do with us... and pride got in the way of everything...

I can't say that I miss her, I don't, she wasn't a big part of my life (apart from the fact I carry remnants of her DNA).. I do wish she'd made the effort to contact us... and conversely I wish I'd made that extra effort to go and see her and ask her the questions only she could have answered...

In the end, there were no winners... Everyone lost... My grandmother lost out on eight great-grandchildren, they lost out on knowing their great-grandmother... I lost out on getting answers to specific questions, she lost out on seeing me and my siblings...

Que Sera Sera...

Time, Families, Etc...

I was talking about time flying etc, last night with my cousin (while we were having a drink!) and he was saying that his father is amazed by the fact that he spoke to someone who was born in the year 1864 (his great-grandmother) and he's also spoke to his own great-grandaughter in 2008... a distance of 144 years... Fascinating stuff really when you get your head round it, I myself, remember my great-grandmother (born 1892) and she was always an old woman. But, in reality she hadn't always been an old woman.

I think that we can only relate to our own experiences and how we grew up, finding it hard to comprehend (whilst still knowing) that our own parents were once children as were their parents.

I'm currently tracing my family tree and find it amazing how families branch off and go down different routes, and how it's entirely possible that my own great-grandchildren (if there are any!) might not even now each other... and yet their grandparents are brothers and sisters... or even conversely my own brother's and sister's great-grandchildren may not know each other...

Certainly food for thought.. well for me anyway...

Time Flies...

I've noticed that as I get older, the faster that time appears to go by... Is it really over a year since I last wrote on here? Well, obviously it is as the dates will testify... I was sat thinking back earlier this week and remember myself and my best friend at the time remarking to each other (we were about eight or nine years old) that in the year 2000 we'll both be 36 years old, and it seemed a long , long way off, but here we are and we're EIGHT years PAST it...

I have cousins that are now GRANDPARENTS... hell, even my YOUNGER brother is a grandparent now... It doesnt seem two minutes ago that we were all new parents!!! My own eldest is 24 this year... TWENTY flamin FOUR!!!! Yet, inside I still feel like I did when I was younger... Obviously physically I look different, wrinkles appearing, hair pigment disappearing (leaving me with "silver" streaks), hair receding.. but other than that I'm still me...

Anyway, I'm gonna have to keep going with this now I've remembered where it is...